Changes

We use different language now.

We used to say, when we have a baby. When we have a baby we will... I can't wait until we have a baby because... When we have a baby we should name it...

Maybe it is hormones (I am having a heinous period right now) but I have been thinking a lot about those phantom children. Lincoln who we would have called Linc and Virginia Ann who of course would have had red hair and freckles. She would have been Ginny for short. Ginny Ann. I used to say I was going to dye her hair because I demanded a red headed daughter.

We loved them even before they were conceived.

The other day Hubs said, I can't wait until I'm a father. What a subtle difference. I do not think we will ever have a BABY but that doesn't mean we will not have a child. Now when I picture being a parent I picture a child who is broken. A child who has had a life that they need to recover from. A child who will need so much love.

We have love in spades.

Today was a good day. I finished the third book in the Hunger Games series. They were all excellent. I recommend them. I also slogged through my emails. I completed my Teach for America things. I had floaters. I laid outside in the sun. I snuggled in bed with the dogs.

I have had a long string of good days. I am kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop.