Fishie Family!

There is something I need to address here in this blog.

This is a serious topic that is close to my heart and has caused me a ton of pain over the past few months.

Rotting Roy.

The dissolution of my marriage has sadly brought about the end in the chronicles of the dissolution of Roy.

I am sorry Roy. I have failed you.

But never fear! There are new heroes on the horizon! Small, gold, and alive...

THE FISH FAMILY!

There is a TJizzle fish, a Prom Date fish, and a Me fish. They live in a spigot jar and stare at me when I eat breakfast.

Prom Date won them for me at the fair. I got my choice of anything I wanted. Large stuffed animals, glowing Mohawks, the kind carnie from the ring toss game. And of course I chose the the game with the living things that required equiptment and care.

But, because he is pretty much the best person on the planet, he won me some fish and then took me to the store where we spent at least an hour getting the PERFECT fish set up. He also didn't complain too much when pink rocks got all over the kitchen and we had to stay up past midnight to allow our fishie family a chance to get acclimated.

Did I mention yet that he is pretty much the best ever?

Sweet Relief

I finally feel like a normal person again.

Well, not like I did before. Never like I did before.

But normaler.

I think I will take this moment of okness to talk about something that I have been putting off for far to long. I promised you this long ago and then life happened and he got shoved aside. He is so patient and good that he did not complain but simply waited patiently for his moment in the spotlight...

Roy.

Roy is doing really well. One side of him is a little smooshed because the dogs step on him accidentally when they walk up the stairs. This is interesting as they never used to which I believe means that he has expanded somewhat.

I hope this means he is thinking about exploding.

I am pretty sure that Roy exploding would make my life complete.

Roy: Chapter 2

My family experienced a tragedy this weekend. It was slightly heartbreaking, but a large development in the life and times of Rotting Roy.

I knocked off his stem.

It was such a nice day outside on Sunday that I decided to get my bike off the stand and take that baby outside. I put my Bobby Kindal and my cell phone in the basket and I went to roll it down the exterior stairs. Otherwise known as Rotting Roy's domain. As I was trying to get the bike down the stairs we had a run in with Roy. He did not survive intact.

Poor poor Roy.

On the plus side for you, my dedicated readers, it inspired me to create another Roy post. A development this big just must be documented.

Roy looks terrible.

Just wanted to remind you what Roy looked like in the
previous post.

He looks slightly flat, and white, and moldy. His skin has also taken on a papery quality. I am concerned about his health.

My cookies were a huge hit at school today. I was told that people were passing around my file as well as eating so hopefully they learned something. My nose is still full of snot. Tomorrow is my spinal tap. I called and it is still scheduled, but no one seems to know what to do with me.

Story of my life.

Roy

This is Roy.

Roy is my rotting pumpkin.

Roy is awesome.

I got Roy on our class field trip to the pumpkin farm. I planned on carving Roy, but just never got around to it. So Roy sat on the steps like a good little pumpkin and he started to rot. Roy is still rotting.

I like Roy because he looks different everyday. He just keeps getting flatter and flatter and once he was oozing. That was a good day. Things are getting really exciting for Roy now. Somehow a little bit of his pumpkin skin peeled back and now you can see his spongy innards. It looks like the inside of a Nerf ball. Poor Roy.

Hubs wants me to get rid of Roy. I think that is horrible. I love Roy. I look forward to coming home to him.When I am at work I wonder about what he is going to look like that night. Hubs gave me a week to say goodbye to Roy. He told me it would by my responsibility to throw Roy away. I told him that was cruel and if he wanted Roy gone he would have to do it himself. He said Roy was my pumpkin and therefore my responsibility. I said I wasn't the one who wanted him gone. And so Roy has stayed and become my weird science experiment.

Roy is really fucking gross.

Tomorrow I have an interview with the local paper so they can do a story on Rare Disease Day (which is Feb. 29th). I am excited. It starts my four day weekend, which I am even more excited about. We are heading back to Big City Chicago this weekend to go to the Field Museum and this time I am letting the Hubs come along. It should be an enjoyable experience.

Spinal tap on Friday. I am soooo curious to find out what my pressure is. With all the rain we've been getting it feels like 103.