Things with Wheels

I need a car.

Badly.

It needs to be cheap.

I felt kind of crappy yesterday. Knot in my neck and a slight headache.

I opened a bank account yesterday. I also took my name off of the car insurance policy. There are a million little things that you have to do. It is hard to keep them all straight. I am staying in tonight and getting organized and figuring everything out.

The paper will be delivered tomorrow. I will find a car and a place to live.

I am determined.

Poor Prom Date and Mom aren't going to have to cart me around anymore.

Change

A week ago today I moved out of my house.

I am not going to air my relationship dirty laundry here, but I am not going back.

Since leaving I have not had a headache.

I have people to thank. Prom Date, TJizzle, Mom, Step-Dad, Mrs. Rocketship, the Doosh. <3

Happy Mother's Day.

The Wait is Over

So the wait is over.

I was not offered the position.

And while I keep telling myself that is ok there is a part of me that is totally not ok with any of this.

I just don't understand how much bad news a girl can be expected to take before she flips the hell out. I found out the answer last night. Three major pieces of bad news in 4 and a half months. That is how much it takes before a girl flips the hell out.

I flipped out.

I never flip out.

Ok, that is a lie. I freak out all the time. But I freak out in private. Typically in my car. Typically because I am jealous of people who can relieve their pain with a pill. Typically because I miss my life before when I felt like a normal girl.

Last night was not in private.


And I try to put a happy face on it because no one likes a cry baby. I don't like a cry baby. I like to make fun of my problems because then they are not so big and scary. It's like imagining a spider wearing polka dot boxers and a clown wig. As soon as you can laugh at it it's not so scary anymore.

So yeah. I thought I was fine because I was laughing. And I am fineish. And I will be finer.

Good things in my life...
The puppies who are snoring next to me.
The husband who loves me
The mom who feeds me
The friends who take care of me
The doctors who are knowledgeable about me
The Stinker and all of the other kids who I already make a difference for every day

Maybe my mom was right. Maybe the universe is trying to tell me something. Maybe I am not done here. Who knows.

Baltimore: Day 3

 Today I learned all about industry.

We went to the Baltimore Museum of Industry. It is probably the coolest museum I have ever been to. Baltimore was apparently an incredibly industrious city. They were the first in a tons of things.

 Look! More firsts!

 And still MORE firsts!

This is all. There are no more. Just these firsts. I mean, I am sure there are more things that I don't know about but this is all there was at the museum.

Over there is typeset from a printing press and over there is an electric car. I thought the car looked like a boat. It made me giggle.

And the Doosh. Being dooshy. Making sheet metal. Pretty sure you were not supposed to touch the exhibits, but I could be wrong.

This is Charlie!

Charlie AND Nacho

Otherwise we pretty much just hung out at the Doosh's. We played cards and walked the dogs.

The Doosh had to work at 8 so Mom and I walked down to the harbor. We found a place called Saladworks where we got to build our own salads! It was tasty and cool. This will be the last time I walk for about a year though.

My head felt great today. Besides being a little sleepy I felt better than I had all week long. So that was awesome. Of course we did less walking and less overeating today. That may have had something to do with it.

We are leaving for home tomorrow. I am excited to be getting back. I just wish I had brought a muffin up because I need something sweet after my salad.

Baltimore: Day 2

Today for breakfast I ate at Miss Shirley's. It was fabulous. To the left are white chocolate raspberry pancakes and to the right are some delicious hash browns with onions. I think I gained twenty pounds.

 After that we drove over to Fort McHenry. This was where Francis Scott Key wrote the Star Spangled Banner. It also saved Baltimore during the revolutionary war. It was pretty awesome and the grounds are beautiful. The only problem? I forgot my memory card in my camera so I could only take a few pictures.

We went to Fell's Point which is a neighborhood in Baltimore and I saw where Homicide was created! isn't that super cool?

We walked to Fell's Point. It was a pretty long walk and by the time we were trecking up the hill on the way back to the Doosh's the back of my neck felt like it had a metal rod stuck into it. I assume it was some type of exertional headache. That is one thing I have really noticed on this trip. I am so much slower than I used to be. I have less energy and I get bogged down by fatigue sooner.

So bottom line it was a relief to be back at the Doosh's hanging out with Charlie and Nacho. Mom even fell asleep.

But the crowning achievement of the day was none of these things. It wasn't even the delicious Greek food I had for dinner that I failed to take a picture of. It wasn't even when my neck ache went away and I started to feel human again.

It was Duckpin Bowling.

Doosh bowling

Tiny Dancer bowling

Duckpin bowling is much like regular bowling only the balls and pins are smaller and you get three turns a frame instead of two. It was probably the most fun thing we have done thus far. I would Duckpin bowl again in a heartbeat.

Mom bowling

Baltimore: Day 1

Hi, I'm a botanic garden!

I saw many things today.

I saw this awesome building.

Hi, I am a fuzzy thing!

And inside of this building were lots of plants, including these awesome and hilarious little fuzzy things.





And then we went to the Baltimore Museum of Art. I saw all sorts of wonderful and majestic pieces of art. There were paintings and furniture arranged in rooms. I saw all sorts of amazing and wonderful things. What made the largest impression on me was this...

Hi, I am having sex with a chicken.

This man sure loves his chicken.

Then I consumed this. This is one of the four pizzas that the Doosh's girlfriend, Tiny Dancer, made for us. They were all amazing. I feel like a huge fat slob though.

It was a great day.

Baltimore Baby

We made it!

We had originally planned on stopping with about three hours left, but then the Doosh got us a good deal at his hotel so we figured let's just go. And went we did.

The trip was great, except the last hour which was incredibly rainy. I thought that Mom might have a heart attack, but we got through it. Tomorrow we will move to the hotel where we will be staying throughout the trip, which is right by the harbor. I am excited.

I will keep you posted.

The Other Shoe

Neck/headache all day. Achy eyes. Exhausted. Floaters. The norm.

I had a dream.

In this dream my vision was double. It was only in one eye and it was not only double but the one eye was sideways too. I was in PE with the Stinker and I keep asking the PE coaches to call my mom so she could take me to the hospital. They refuse and they keep finding these drops that they insisted would help. They wouldn't listen to me as I was trying to explain that I need a spinal tap.

Bizarre.

We had a thunderstorm today. Even though I felt kind of like poop it was still nice to see the first thunderstorm of the year. There was lightening AND thunder. It was exciting.

Three more work days until spring break! I leave for Baltimore in 4. I am excited.

Break

Sometimes I need a break from life. I've been taking an email break for most of the week and then last night I took an internet break. I also took a cell phone break.

I did not take a Hunger Games break. I read that whole book yesterday. It was pretty good.

I have a long list of people who need something from me and have emailed me. I have not a lot of energy this week. So I am taking a break. Tomorrow I will have to address them in order of importance. Starting with Teach for America because I have a bunch of stuff due.

Good day today. Mom took me out to buy my interview outfit. It is cute. I even got a flower for my hair. I will take a picture the day of.

I have been having a lot of floaters lately. That is concerning.

I am going to go back to pretending life doesn't exist now. I will return tomorrow.

Sleep

Last night I took a night time nap.

This is something I do regularly as it ruins my sleep schedule but I figured it was Friday and I could sleep in if need be. I asked the Hubs to wake me up at 7:30 which he did. I mumbled something about it being one of those nights and fell back to sleep. I woke up at 11:30 pm. I took my pills and went back to sleep. I woke up again at 6 am this morning and proceeded to lay in bed for an hour until my alarm went off.

It was glorious.

Being tired has become a part of my life. It is like a little pet that sits on my shoulder and is always with me. Both comforting and annoying. On occasion it is overwhelming and I do things like sleep for 13 hours. I try to feel like a loser for being 26 and going to bed at 6 on a Friday but I just can't make myself. After this 13 hours of sleep I will feel awake and ok for the morning and then the tiredness will creep back in slowly. It will be more manageable though. It will be a slightly smaller pet, maybe a sugar glider instead of a large anaconda that wraps around my body.

Hey! Let's make a list of things I have to do today...

Nothing.

Ok. That is a slight exaggeration. I will hang out with my mother. We will go out to dinner. We will watch Project Runway Allstars. That is not unpleasant so it belongs in the nothing pile.

Tomorrow I am baking for Rare Disease Day. Did you know Rare Disease Day is on February 29th? I hope you have your plans! Time is getting short. I will be baking a whole bunch of cookies and bringing them into school on Monday. I will be putting little informational things on them so everyone knows about Rare Disease Day. I am increasing awareness. What are YOU doing???

Negative

I figured I'd warn you in the title.

This will not be a positive entry.

I went out to dinner with my mom and went back to her house to dye her hair and watch Project Runway. I felt fine. Suddenly at about 7:45 I was hit with a headache. So I lay down for a second because that's what you want to do when you have a headache. You want to lay down. Except when you have IIH. Then laying down makes it worse which sucks because all I want to do when I have a headache is lay down. And that woman made me dye her hair anyway.

I have been woken up by headaches my whole life. In the middle of the night I would wake up because my head hurts that badly. Somewhere in my brain I would think, if I could just fall asleep then this headache will go away. When I would lay down the headache would get worse and typically I would end up abusing advil and crying.

Early sign of IIH? Who knows. Who cares? I have the stupid thing and nothing is going to change that.