Dreams

So Prom Date made me watch this terrible movie last night about infectious diseases. Contagion. It was supposed to be filmed here in town but they pulled out. Apparently he ended up working on one of the sets though so it resulted in me sitting through 146 minutes of the most boring shit I have ever seen.

Still, it resulted in these weird dreams about sick people, zombies, and the apocalypse. It also resulted in my getting like 6 hours of very interrupted sleep which I am not ok with.

I'm the kind of girl who needs a good 9 hours.

This is going to be a good weekend. Hubs and I have duties today that can't really be discussed in public because they are technically against the rules (we'll just say it might involve a small girl with a bow) and then tomorrow we are going to the drive in to see The Hunger Games with Cats and Spicy Ramen. I am super excited. I LOVE the drive in and I haven't been there since I was a kid. I will wear my PJ's just in case I fall asleep.

I do have to get to those trainings I need to finish though. Maybe tomorrow afternoon.

IIH can kiss my ass.

Changes

We use different language now.

We used to say, when we have a baby. When we have a baby we will... I can't wait until we have a baby because... When we have a baby we should name it...

Maybe it is hormones (I am having a heinous period right now) but I have been thinking a lot about those phantom children. Lincoln who we would have called Linc and Virginia Ann who of course would have had red hair and freckles. She would have been Ginny for short. Ginny Ann. I used to say I was going to dye her hair because I demanded a red headed daughter.

We loved them even before they were conceived.

The other day Hubs said, I can't wait until I'm a father. What a subtle difference. I do not think we will ever have a BABY but that doesn't mean we will not have a child. Now when I picture being a parent I picture a child who is broken. A child who has had a life that they need to recover from. A child who will need so much love.

We have love in spades.

Today was a good day. I finished the third book in the Hunger Games series. They were all excellent. I recommend them. I also slogged through my emails. I completed my Teach for America things. I had floaters. I laid outside in the sun. I snuggled in bed with the dogs.

I have had a long string of good days. I am kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Break

Sometimes I need a break from life. I've been taking an email break for most of the week and then last night I took an internet break. I also took a cell phone break.

I did not take a Hunger Games break. I read that whole book yesterday. It was pretty good.

I have a long list of people who need something from me and have emailed me. I have not a lot of energy this week. So I am taking a break. Tomorrow I will have to address them in order of importance. Starting with Teach for America because I have a bunch of stuff due.

Good day today. Mom took me out to buy my interview outfit. It is cute. I even got a flower for my hair. I will take a picture the day of.

I have been having a lot of floaters lately. That is concerning.

I am going to go back to pretending life doesn't exist now. I will return tomorrow.