I'd Tap That

This spinal tap was silly.

It was waaaaaay different than the last two I got. I figure that since I am out of same day surgery and now able to sit up and type comfortably I will go ahead and tell you about it in more detail.

So this is my back. There are a few things you should notice about my back...

1. I have a cool tattoo.
2. I sneaked and put on my undies and sweatshirt which meant I had to sit up. I couldn't get caught or they would make me start my 2 hours all over again (joke).
3. There is a lot of green stuff on it.
4. There is a weird target like tramp stamp.
5. There is a flapping band-aid.

All of these things will be explained in time.

Let's start with number three (I think numbers 1 and 2 are self explanatory). That green stuff is left over from the topical antiseptic they used to make sure my back was sterile and hopefully prevent an infection at the puncture site. The lines are because I have a big butt so it kind of pooled... : (

For this LP (lumbar puncture - same thing as a spinal tap just a fancier name) I traveled to the Interventional Radiology department where they used a fluoroscopy machine to determine where to place the needle. Interventional Radiology is simply the place where they use the machines to help diagnose and perform certain procedures. They do angioplasty in this department because they can make it minimally invasive. A fluoroscopy machine is awesome. It takes basically a real time x-ray and projects it on the television so the doctor can see where he is sticking the needle. That is why I have the target on my back. That is so the doctor knew where to stick his needle.

I wanted to say "Oh yeah? Well, Dr. Cowboy knew where to stick it just by knocking on my back a couple of times." But I figured I shouldn't taunt the man with the large needle.

What does that leave us with? Ah yes, the floppy band-aid. Hubs just didn't remove that before taking the picture.

Another thing I wanted to note is why I had to lay flat for two hours. Two long hours. And not even prime time television hours. There are two main side effects post tap, headache and nausea. It is believed that these can be prevented by laying down for two hours, but studies cannot confirm or deny this.

How do I feel post tap? Eggcellent! I feel like my shoulders and neck are finally relaxed. I told the Hubs that although I have never gotten a massage I imagine this is what people feel like after one. It is delicious. I want to melt into the couch and sleep for days.

Happy Rare Disease Day!

Moar Cookies

Today I must bake.

Baking for my brain. Brains love baking. Cookies for a cure (I like that one!).

As I will be getting a spinal tap on Rare Disease Day proper I am "celebrating" it tomorrow at work. I figure that will give everyone at work time to make plans for the day as well. I am sure they will be elaborate. Don't worry. I informed everyone I would not be at work on the day so they don't feel pressured to arrange a parade for me.

And the Hubs claims I am self centered.

I think a cold is official. There is drainage and a sore throat to back up that assessment. This is not good. I hate colds. They are a job hazard.

I also have to clean the bathroom floor. There is mud.

I wish Dr. Awesome was going to be at my spinal tap. I would even take Dr. Cowboy. Someone I know would be nice. I have never had a procedure like this with a stranger. When I went in for kidney stone things my urologist was always there. Sometimes he even tried to comfort me awkwardly (he had a terrible bedside manner). So there was a familiar face and someone I kind of trusted doing the actual procedure. I won't know this person. They will just be sticking a giant needle in my back. And who will awkwardly pat my shoulder and call me little girl (Dr. Uro totally did that - strange)? I guess the Hubs will have to step in.

Post-Spinal Tap Post

And my pressure waaaas............

I DON'T KNOW.

Why don't I know?

BECAUSE I WAS LIED TO.

Hubs took care of my scheduling for me and he was told not once but TWICE that radiology did taps on a walk in basis. Now that might sound weird to some people, but it didn't to me because Dr. Cowboy did my tap while smoking a cigarette and knocking back a beer. Clearly they are no big deal. So I have the day off and I waltz into the hospital and tell them I am there for my tap and they're like, erm, we do these through OUTPATIENT SURGERY.

Otherwise known as not radiology and not on a walk in basis. So now I have to miss work and get the tap done on the 29th (I did smile because I would be getting my tap done on Rare Disease Day). Post tap they will make me lay on my back for hours even though Dr. Cowboy said that was completely unnecessary because they do the taps to lower my pressure which is counteracted by the whole laying on your back thing.

I am slightly annoyed.

I am also tempted to show up in the emergency room and lie, telling them I have double vision and just get the damn thing done there. This is all WAY more complicated than it needs to be. I told them to call Dr. Cowboy because I was sure HE would do the tap on the registration lady's desk before we had finished signing the papers. That is just how he is.

Mrs. Rocketship, get your staple remover sharpened because on Tuesday we are doing an at home spinal tap.

So Hubs and I drive home in rather low spirits and walk into the house to find the dogs have eaten half the bag of dog food and left only poop, pee, and vomit behind. They have been kind enough to spread it across two rooms so I had to go on a random bodily fluids hunt. It was kind of like an Easter egg hunt but far stinkier and with less candy. I am not in the best of moods at the moment. I think I need a nap.