Trust

I have been dealing a lot with trust lately.

I come with baggage. Lots of baggage. Sometimes it feels like I am dragging a U-Haul behind me. A little bit of my baggage is past relationship related. That's three or four boxes. Most of my baggage is IIH related.

By nature IIH can be a lot to take in. I look perfectly healthy. Most days I can do all of the things I could do before. I am stubborn so mostly I refuse to let it stop me. But there are times when it does stop me. There are things I can't do.

The children question.

I can have children, but they might have IIH. I can have children, but I might have to have spinal taps each week because they don't know if my meds are safe to take until 20 weeks. I can have children, but I don't know that I will be able to SEE them.

The fact that the acetazolamide could stop working and I might need a shunt. The fact that the shunt might not work and then I won't work.

Is that fair to saddle someone with?

Most of the time I feel like the answer to that question is no. But luckily it's not my choice. I don't get to decide what someone else can live with.

And that's where trust comes in. Which is slightly scary for me. But I am getting ok with it.

And just a bonus... Prom Date on prom.

: )

But wait... There's MORE!

I saw the neurologist yesterday.

Dr. Awesome was awesome, as always.

We chatted a bit. I had to push and pull him. He did not tickle my feet. He peeked at my eyes. Asked me about headaches and then told me he didn't need to see me for 5 more months. After he had coaxed me out of the corner and calmed my weeping he explained that while he WANTED to see me everyday there really was no medical reason. So then I began to fake double vision. He did not buy it.

So yeah. I think I am officially managed.

This is awesome.

Eyeballs

I know I said I was going the the eye doctor weeks ago, but I lied.

I went to the eye doctor but the appointment had been made with the wrong person so I had to reschedule. Today was the day I rescheduled for.

Dr. Straightman is pretty awesome. He is super nice and I think interested in me. I am rare you see. So he did the whole standard exam and my corrected vision is still 20/20. This is very good as it means the swelling that I had did not cause me to lose vision.

Then he looked at my optic nerves. I have such big eyes that they don't even have to dilate me. There is NO SWELLING in either nerve. This is awesome. The headaches are manageable and there is no swelling which means that even though my pressure is slightly high I can stay on my current dose of acetazolamide.

The only negative was that he saw some permanent damage to my left optic nerve. I guess something about the color indicated there was slight damage from how swollen it was the first time. He said that it probably would hardly be noticeable.

So all in all a great appointment.

Happy Saturday! Or as I like to call it, nap day.

Few and Far Between

Sometimes you like songs because you hope someone else will identify with them.

My updates have been so few and far between because I have been doing so well! So few headaches.

Thursday night I didn't make it to the pharmacy in time and I was completely and totally out of acetazolamide. This meant that I missed my dose of acetazolamide at night and then the pharmacy doesn't open until 9 so I was going to miss it in the morning as well. : / not good. The last time I missed acetazolamide was when I was first diagnosed. There were allergy issues and so we had to wait to hear from the doctor to make sure everything was ok. I ended up in the hospital.

Things were even more complicated because I still don't have a car. So it wasn't like I could sneak out and pick up my prescription at the pharmacy by school. Plus my mom was out of town for the week. So she couldn't even help me out. It had the potential to be very very bad.

Then Prom Date stepped in.

"So do you need to me to get your prescription when the pharmacy opens tomorrow?" nod.
"Do you need me to bring it to school?" nod.
"Are you going to be ok until then?" shrug.

He has been wonderful this week. Not only carting me back and forth to school but also trying to help me find a car. Both he and TJizzle have gone a long way to helping me start rebuilding my confidence that has been kind of shattered.

Things tend to get messed up in your mind even if you are the one who walks away.

But now I have not one but two leads on cars and an interview for a summer job on Tuesday. I am pretty excited about it.

Happy Summer Saturday!

: )

TODAY I am making lasagna.

The sauce is made.

My hands smell like onions and garlic and whenever I touch my face I get hungry.

I totally spaced on my pill last night. Then I slept until like 10. So I kind of feel a little gross. But that's ok. It'll go away when the pill starts to kick in. Right?

Bummer Tummer

I kind of have a tummy ache. I think it is from the Hubs. Thanks Hubs.

I had a pretty awesome day. It was an early dismissal so the Hubs and I drove out to get my birth certificate as I needed a copy. We went to the wrong courthouse but ended up eating lunch at this terrible little diner. While disgusting for the most part they had the best fries. If you know me at all you know that french fries are my favorite food.

Only at this particular restaurant they did not call them french fries. Oh no. They were called...

Freedom Fries.

I had a tingly face all afternoon. I actually took a nap so I didn't have to feel the tingling anymore. It was my temples and around my eyes. My lower eyelids. Down into my cheeks. Kind of terrible. OK, super terrible.

There are a lot of things that I hate about IIH but the tingly face is the worst. It is impossible to ignore because it tickles and it kind of makes me want to cry. I was laying out in my hammock snuggled up in my favorite blanket with the sun on my face and I was totally distracted by the pins and needles around my eyelids.

Stupid acetazolamide.

Then I google it of course just to see if it is normal and I find that yeah, it is. I also find that some people feel it when their shunts malfunction. And then I remember how lucky I am.

Genius

I have the best job in the world.

Today one of the kids was wearing a sweatshirt that had a missing the zipper pull. We shall call this particular young man Dimples. He was stuck in his sweatshirt so I put a paperclip on there so he could get in and out. You would have thought that I split the atom.

I felt pretty awesome about myself.

I forgot to take my pill today.

Never again. I think I have to get a pill case and put one of each in there to keep in my purse just in case. I assume I will have to rotate stock every once in a while.

How long does it take for medicine to go bad?

This week there are only two things I am annoyed about. I think this is pretty excellent.

Happy Tuesday!