Change can be Terrible

There are many things that have changed since I was diagnosed with PTC. Most of them are not awesome.

1. I am tired. This is getting better. I have been an early to bed kind of girl since college but now 9 pm hits and I just want my shower and my sleep. There is really no other option. Waking up is interesting though. I remember waking up prior to PTC and just dragging through my morning. I never really felt like sleep was restful. That has changed as well. I wake up feeling so much more rested.

2. I can barely remember my own name. I feel like my brain is working slower. Like my thoughts are moving in slow motion. I space out more as well. I have a theory. Cerebrospinal fluid gives the brain nutrients. My brain was getting extra nutrients which made it smarter. Now those nutrients have been taken away so I am dumber. I must ask my neurologist about this.

3.  AH and I aren't communicating as well. This is the most depressing part of the whole thing. He has a lot going on right now as well, but I feel like he doesn't really understand how I feel. On the flip side I am not making as much of an effort to understand how he feels. This really sucks as he is my absolute best friend and normally can read me so well

4. I cannot drink soda. This is a tragedy.

I guess I should make a list of positives as well. Keep things balanced. Four positive things in my life...

1. I have the best friends and family anyone could ask for. I have been showered with love and concern since this whole thing started and my support system is amazing. I am incredibly lucky.

2. I can still work. The migraine medicine and I get along really well and I am able to take it at work and still function incredibly well.

3. I am taking less and less migraine meds as the days wear on and the Diamox works to stabalize my pressure. This is excellent news.

4. I am learning to read my body. I am starting to understand what it feels like when my pressure gets high. There really isn't anything I can do about it, but at least I can kind of track what is going on with the weather, time of day, etc.

5. It was way easier to come up with the positives than it was the negatives. <3