Growing up

I don't buy any of that new age crap. I typically don't go in for inspirational sayings. I think when shit gets tough either you suck it up and change something about it or you stop complaining.

I have always picked my friends with pretty much one things in mind, do we laugh? If the answer is yes then for sure we can be friends. If the answer is no then we prolly aren't going to get along. I know, I'm not very picky. I can take a lot of shit. I can be pretty much whatever you need me to be, as long as you make me laugh.

But something about that has changed. I don't know if it's the diagnosis or simply a result of getting older, but I have found myself craving relationships that are far more real than that. Friends that will not only talk but listen. Friends who will offer advice and assistance when needed and sometimes just listen to me bitch about what happened that day.

It's required changes on my part. I have had to learn to trust people. I have had to tell people what is really going on and not just the rosy picture that I like to paint in my head. And in return I want friends who will do the same with me. Friends who will trust me with things they keep a secret from other people.

And I feel better. About my life and the scary unknown. I feel like I can face it because it's not just me and Hubs against the world. There are others who will hold my hand and help keep me going.

And there are still those people who I just laugh with. Because they are fine too. There is nothing wrong with that. But I am no longer scared that the people who have stuck around are going to run because I share something real with them because if that happens it is their problem not mine.

: )