It will fit children I am babysitting over the summer. It will also get me to and from work with seemingly no problems. It makes me feel like this...
Last night I ran to the store! I bought yogurt. It was exciting.
I am listening to the girliest music right now. I also painted my toenails hot pink last night. I believe I am reverting back to being about 16. Maybe it has something to do with living with my parents.
Sometimes you like songs because you hope someone else will identify with them.
My updates have been so few and far between because I have been doing so well! So few headaches.
Thursday night I didn't make it to the pharmacy in time and I was completely and totally out of acetazolamide. This meant that I missed my dose of acetazolamide at night and then the pharmacy doesn't open until 9 so I was going to miss it in the morning as well. : / not good. The last time I missed acetazolamide was when I was first diagnosed. There were allergy issues and so we had to wait to hear from the doctor to make sure everything was ok. I ended up in the hospital.
Things were even more complicated because I still don't have a car. So it wasn't like I could sneak out and pick up my prescription at the pharmacy by school. Plus my mom was out of town for the week. So she couldn't even help me out. It had the potential to be very very bad.
Then Prom Date stepped in.
"So do you need to me to get your prescription when the pharmacy opens tomorrow?" nod.
"Do you need me to bring it to school?" nod. "Are you going to be ok until then?" shrug.
He has been wonderful this week. Not only carting me back and forth to school but also trying to help me find a car. Both he and TJizzle have gone a long way to helping me start rebuilding my confidence that has been kind of shattered.
Things tend to get messed up in your mind even if you are the one who walks away.
But now I have not one but two leads on cars and an interview for a summer job on Tuesday. I am pretty excited about it.
Today all I feel like doing is eating. NOMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM. I think I am going to make my FAVORITE red potatoes tonight and I am not going to share.
Lasagna was a hit last night.
I had a really bad head day yesterday. This was my first one in a little while and I did not like it at all. I was out in the heat most of the day so that may have had something to do with it, but I was inside where it was cool and it hurt then too so it might just have been a bad day. I had just forgotten what that feels like.
I saw lots of wildlife yesterday. I saw a toad AND a cat. I tried to befriend both. It did not work.
My hands smell like onions and garlic and whenever I touch my face I get hungry.
I totally spaced on my pill last night. Then I slept until like 10. So I kind of feel a little gross. But that's ok. It'll go away when the pill starts to kick in. Right?
I will be making lasagna on Saturday but everyone knows that you have to make the sauce ahead of time for optimum flavor awesomeness. So I will hopefully be doing that today.
I felt kind of crappy yesterday. Knot in my neck and a slight headache.
I opened a bank account yesterday. I also took my name off of the car insurance policy. There are a million little things that you have to do. It is hard to keep them all straight. I am staying in tonight and getting organized and figuring everything out.
The paper will be delivered tomorrow. I will find a car and a place to live.
I am determined.
Poor Prom Date and Mom aren't going to have to cart me around anymore.
I'm sorry TJizzle, I know this was a secret that I shared just with you, but I had to confess it to the world.
Anyone who can manage to work the word mangina into a song deserves my love and respect.
I had a rough afternoon yesterday. Tingly face and I was stupid. These days are frustrating because I can't perform basic tasks. Things like writing on the board for the kids become an insurmountable task because I can't remember how to spell basic words.
Frustrating.
At least I had apple pie and a huge chunk of cheese for breakfast!
I keep getting this feeling that this is all a dream and I am going to wake up.
I wouldn't change a thing.
I have lost weight. Maybe 10 pounds? So I don't know if that has something to do with how great I feel lately. Apparently the bigger thing is a restriction in sodium and a reduction in fluid intake, which is interesting since I am on a diuretic. I don't know. All I know is that I feel so much better.
I got my hairs cut. Wanna see? I'm pretty.
Fun night last night. I hung out with a super old friend from high school. I think I'm going to name him the Vampire. I got completely smashed on two screwdrivers. I got home an hour later than expected and my mom had called the police. I am not even kidding.
This is making me nervous for a myriad of reasons, but mostly because he might tell me I am going blind. Do you remember your lessons from previous posts friends? Because you shooooould.
He is going to take a fundus picture of my optic disc which will tell him if the papilledema (swelling of the optic nerve) has gone down.
I don't buy any of that new age crap. I typically don't go in for inspirational sayings. I think when shit gets tough either you suck it up and change something about it or you stop complaining.
I have always picked my friends with pretty much one things in mind, do we laugh? If the answer is yes then for sure we can be friends. If the answer is no then we prolly aren't going to get along. I know, I'm not very picky. I can take a lot of shit. I can be pretty much whatever you need me to be, as long as you make me laugh.
But something about that has changed. I don't know if it's the diagnosis or simply a result of getting older, but I have found myself craving relationships that are far more real than that. Friends that will not only talk but listen. Friends who will offer advice and assistance when needed and sometimes just listen to me bitch about what happened that day.
It's required changes on my part. I have had to learn to trust people. I have had to tell people what is really going on and not just the rosy picture that I like to paint in my head. And in return I want friends who will do the same with me. Friends who will trust me with things they keep a secret from other people.
And I feel better. About my life and the scary unknown. I feel like I can face it because it's not just me and Hubs against the world. There are others who will hold my hand and help keep me going.
And there are still those people who I just laugh with. Because they are fine too. There is nothing wrong with that. But I am no longer scared that the people who have stuck around are going to run because I share something real with them because if that happens it is their problem not mine.
Today we learned a hard lesson about disappointment.
Our zoo field trip was cancelled.
It was a depressing day.
Still, it was a good lesson because sometimes in life things do not go as planned. And on those days we have to buck up and continue with business as usual. There may have been a few complaints. And I may have been tempted to throw a kicking screaming fit on the floor. But none of those things happened.
Instead I got to write a paragraph about Justin Bieber with a rather adorable 7 year old.
And I got to eat lunch with a room full of scrubby boys while we watched a panda munch on bamboo.
And I got to swing on the swings during extra recess.
I had to take two Benedryls so the sleep inducing powers would over take my headache so I could sleep. It was a couch night for sure. I basically sat straight up and it still felt like there were nails being driven into my forehead.
